Sad Panda.

I'm close with my family. Not as close as some, but the more I am exposed to other families, the more I understand how unique the bond is that I share with my immediate family. I am especially close with my sisters, and I feel very protective over my younger siblings in general. I have eight siblings, and my younger sister Zoe recently has had some problems at school. Now, I realize that junior high is hard for everyone- it was no picnic for me either, but hearing how these kids behave makes me want to go kick some thirteen-year-old-butts. However, because I'm in Michigan and they are in Wyoming, the best I can do is offer advice and the encouragement that life absolutely gets better after junior high.

It definitely does.
And in the meantime.....
All you can do is laugh at the absurdity of life.

Ok, Cool. Awesome.

I have the worst lab group in the history of lab groups. No one does anything! I'm a bit of a control freak when it comes to academics, so I'll give them that, but if I didn't do anything (everything) then absolutely nothing would get done. They don't understand the material, I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one actually passing the class, and, joy of joys, we have a group paper due. I was apprehensive about this when the assignment was first handed out, but I figured that it's only fair to give everyone a chance. But here I am, the day before it's due, with only my portion of the paper written. I conducted the experiment, made notes for everyone, pestered them for weeks to have them give me their materials so I could compile the paper and here it is at the eleventh hour and I am pissed. I don't even know their last names, to put it on the paper! I emailed everyone a few hours ago as a last ditch effort that maybe they would email me their parts of the paper.
But whatever. I'm just going to write the whole thing.
Awesome.

And I have midterms this week.
Cool.

And I accidentally set my kitchen on fire.
Awesome.

And I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Cool.
It's inappropriate to lay on the floor and scream when you're at college, isn't it?
Awesome.

Academia will steal all your time and eat it!

nom nom nom nom nom....
I've been busy.
18 credit hours is a lot of work.
I knew that, going into the semester, but I somehow believed that I had hidden superpowers that would make it easier than it is for everyone else.
What can I say?
I have my ego-centric, narcisisstic moments. :)
But, while it's been busy, it's been great to use my brain, and really start learning in a classroom enrivonment again. (I was previously keeping the majority of my brain sedated, so as to not become irate at the level of work I was being asked to do professionally. You only need about 1/48 of your brain to work in collections, sales, service or copy writing.)
I've begun running again, and find that it helps me keep my stress levels in moderation, so that I don't come home at the end of a 13 hour school day and just cry about all the work I have yet to do. I'm too tired for that! Bonus: I've cut my running time down to about a solid 8 minute mile and can run for about an hour before I die/spontaneously combust.
But in all seriousness, I am impressed with my ability to consistently get up before the sun and function at a human level. I am 1/3 through with this semester and so far, have straight As. I'm working hard to keep it that way, so that when I transfer, they will be like, "You're really old! But, you are good at stuff.... we'll let you in!"
Hopefully, anyway.

So I'm off to my exciting Friday night of studying, reading, outlining and working out.
Man, college is crazy.
Hats off to all of you who are doing it too.

This is what the inside of my brain looks like. 

Things that make me smile.

So I thought I'd share.
Because it's been a rough couple of weeks.
And smiles are awesome.

The end. :D

Oprah isn't the only one who has favorite things.

The following is one of my favorite life philosophies.

It doesn't bother me at all that I borrowed it from the character Barney on "How I Met Your Mother".

If anything, it only makes it more awesome.

I'm made of money! Oh, wait, that's not me, that's someone else.....

I buy books all the time. I've owned somewhere between 200 and 300 books. Many of them fiction, and even more of them on permanent loan with friends or siblings, but still. I own a lot of books. Now, even with all of my extensive book-buying experience, I was not prepared for yesterday. For my five classes next semester, I had to buy ten textbooks. Ten. And I spent just over $800.00. I think this textbook buying business is a racket. I'm paying you $130 for a book that I can then sell back to you for $15, which you will turn around to sell for $75. It's a racket, I say! I would have bought them for cheaper online, but in order to use my financial aid to pay for them, I have to go through the colleges' book store. I smell a conspiracy for the college to get even more of my money! Haha. Well, in any case, I'm excited for my classes to begin, so I can put these expensive tomes to work for me!

I leave you with a snapshot of my bedroom to illustrate my book-lovin' ways.

My "artistic" temperament

Sometimes I get melancholy. Usually after several glasses of wine, or an string of dark, stormy days. (or even just humid days. Humidity makes my hair explode like some horrible science project gone awry, which does wonders for my mood.) But occasionally I just am sad. I fall into an interminable funk where nothing is fun (especially not me) and I am a giant pile of emo shit. They used to give me pills to correct that, but I stopped taking them. There was a logical reason, for it at the time, I'm sure. But I don't really remember exactly why.... I think I wanted to give my brain a chance to try to fix itself. (*shrugs*) And to be honest, for the majority of the time, I do alright. But for those of you being brought down by my current ennui and depression, I apologize. I can't say I'll stop, but I'll try. Since the dissolution of Astral Feedback, my band, I find that I miss having a creative outlet in that way. So now I keep all my post-teenage angst in my head. I go for runs in this horrible heat, hiding behind giant bug-eye shades so people don't know that the runner with crazy giant hair is me. The running helps, I don't know about the shades.

On the bright side, I start classes in a couple of weeks. And with my eighteen credits this semester, I don't think I'll have any time to mope about Michigans' Lake Effect on my hair or the oil spill crisis. (Yes, in that order. I'm narcissistic.)
I am taking:
Composition: Not worried about this class, as I write for my dayjob currently and have always been pretty good with words.
Public Speaking: This isn't my favorite thing to do, but I fronted a band for four years, and this should be easier than that. I do like being the center of attention, so it will work out. I have faith.
Biology: I <3 science.
Nutrition: I repeat, I <3 science. I also like to cook so I'm actually pretty amped for this class.
Psychology: I find the human brain completely fascinating. I'm mostly amped about this class and the nutrition.
My only real worry with my fall schedule is that I have a 7:30AM class Monday through Thursday. I am not a morning person at all. But I guess I will learn to be. Caffeine and I are good friends. I will just have to start being more organized. And really, the OCD part of my brain loves it when I am super organized. So, really, I only have good things coming up on my horizon.

I'm trying. I feel good about the future. Really, I do. Everything works out in the end, after all.