Planning Shenanigans

       Planning a wedding is exhausting. Even though we pretty much thought it was all planned out, there was still the logistic side of everything to figure out. Namely- how did we make so many friends? We made a preliminary guest list and we had 150 guests. NOT INCLUDING FAMILY. We need to become less friendly, because 150 people plus all of our families are not going to fit at the cottage. I think we have struck on a fairly good compromise though. We are going to keep the actual wedding super-small and then when we get back from the honeymoon, we will have a big party in the Ann Arbor area. So if you don't get invited to the actual wedding, don't get offended, you are still loved by us, but we have to invite Aunt Mildred. (She can't come to the big afterparty, don'tcha know?) And if you DO get invited to the wedding, you better show up. Or decline in a timely manner so we can give your seats to someone else. If you decide not to acquiesce to this very reasonable demand, than I will sic killer crack-smoking clowns on you or something equally horrible will happen. I'm just sayin'.... don't mess with my seating chart.

    In other news, I think the clothing aspect of the wedding is finished. Also, I've realized that I'd rather work on the wedding than any of my homework. Look at the giant pile of Chemistry homework, or look at honeymoon spots? Yeah.... at the moment, the honeymoon plan is to fly to Ireland and stay in a castle there for a few nights and then hop on a cruise and visit Rome, London and then fly back home from Paris. (You can see why this interests me more than the molecular properties of nitrogen, yeah?)


   In non-wedding related news, we bought a kayak for me. A purchase which was quite fun and only dampened a little, due to the fact that they had no pink ones. I will attempt to be an outdoorsy-type kayak-er.( Because apparently kayaking inside is something only drunk people do.) As much as I dislike outdoorsy-type shenanigans, I am giving it an honest go. It seems that I always end up sunburnt, questioned by the mafia or a combination of the two. However, we will be taking them out on Lake Michigan this weekend, so wish me luck!

 

Engagement

So, Boy and I have been rather serious for awhile now, and we'd discussed marriage. A few weeks ago, we actually picked out a ring, but it had to be made specially and so I wasn't sure when he was going to propose. I knew that the ring would be delivered sometime in the next few weeks, and I was wondering when it would arrive. When I got home from school on Friday, I noticed a FedEx "Sorry We Missed You" sticker on the door. I immediately assumed it was the ring, so I texted Boy the address where he could pick up the package and then had to wait for him to get home.

When he arrived home a few hours later, he had the package with him, and I was all excited to see if I was right, but inside I was telling myself

But, apparently, I wasn't very successful I mean, Boy knows me pretty well so he was all

At my attempt at nonchalance. And thankfully, he didn't keep me in suspense for too long.  He told me that he had been racking his brain over the past couple of months trying to think of the best way to ask me to marry him. He wanted to make a grand gesture, write a song and put the question in the lyrics, sprinkle rose petals all over the house, write it in the sky, ect. And he said as he was driving home, he was thinking of all these things and he realized that all of those things, that isn't who we are. We show our love and affection for each other every day in the small things. When I make him a lunch for work, or surprise him with a videogame he wanted. When he fills up my gas tank or brings me breakfast in bed. And he said that I am the best person he has ever known, I inspire him to be the best man that he can be, and he can't imagine spending the rest of his life without me. Then he got down on one knee, opened the ring box and asked me to marry him.

And I said yes.

And this is the ring:

The end!

Introspection

I sit quietly with my face in my textbook, highlighter uncapped and poised above a page that my eyes are not reading. Instead, I stare unblinkingly at nothing, letting my eyes unfocus so that there is nothing to be seen but a blur of colors and ambiguous shapes in front of me.
I wonder if this will get easier.
If the waiting, the hoping, the planning, this tireless, endless pursuit..
if at some point I will feel like I've succeeded enough to allow myself a break.
I sip my chai tea, black and sugarless, and try not to care.
But willing yourself to not care about something that has become so entangled, so enmeshed in your psyche is
a futile attempt.
There are some feelings that fill you up,
dig their roots into your skin
and never let go.
They swell
and blow you over,
like wind and waves.
This is how I feel about my experience of life.
One day I was carefree, the next I was not.
I cannot define what changed or precipitated the metamorphosis,
I know only this:
That now I am driven to pursue this goal that beckons in the distance
And that the feeling, the desire, the need is so strongly ingrained upon my person that to resist is anathema.
And love, that glorious, elusive thing, seems so incongruous
With the unrelenting manner that I push myself,
That I sometimes am baffled at how others can love me.
Even though I love them all very dearly.
These are the thoughts in my head,
As I stare at the snow falling outside
And do not study for my midterm exams.

Sad Panda.

I'm close with my family. Not as close as some, but the more I am exposed to other families, the more I understand how unique the bond is that I share with my immediate family. I am especially close with my sisters, and I feel very protective over my younger siblings in general. I have eight siblings, and my younger sister Zoe recently has had some problems at school. Now, I realize that junior high is hard for everyone- it was no picnic for me either, but hearing how these kids behave makes me want to go kick some thirteen-year-old-butts. However, because I'm in Michigan and they are in Wyoming, the best I can do is offer advice and the encouragement that life absolutely gets better after junior high.

It definitely does.
And in the meantime.....
All you can do is laugh at the absurdity of life.

Ok, Cool. Awesome.

I have the worst lab group in the history of lab groups. No one does anything! I'm a bit of a control freak when it comes to academics, so I'll give them that, but if I didn't do anything (everything) then absolutely nothing would get done. They don't understand the material, I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one actually passing the class, and, joy of joys, we have a group paper due. I was apprehensive about this when the assignment was first handed out, but I figured that it's only fair to give everyone a chance. But here I am, the day before it's due, with only my portion of the paper written. I conducted the experiment, made notes for everyone, pestered them for weeks to have them give me their materials so I could compile the paper and here it is at the eleventh hour and I am pissed. I don't even know their last names, to put it on the paper! I emailed everyone a few hours ago as a last ditch effort that maybe they would email me their parts of the paper.
But whatever. I'm just going to write the whole thing.
Awesome.

And I have midterms this week.
Cool.

And I accidentally set my kitchen on fire.
Awesome.

And I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Cool.
It's inappropriate to lay on the floor and scream when you're at college, isn't it?
Awesome.

Academia will steal all your time and eat it!

nom nom nom nom nom....
I've been busy.
18 credit hours is a lot of work.
I knew that, going into the semester, but I somehow believed that I had hidden superpowers that would make it easier than it is for everyone else.
What can I say?
I have my ego-centric, narcisisstic moments. :)
But, while it's been busy, it's been great to use my brain, and really start learning in a classroom enrivonment again. (I was previously keeping the majority of my brain sedated, so as to not become irate at the level of work I was being asked to do professionally. You only need about 1/48 of your brain to work in collections, sales, service or copy writing.)
I've begun running again, and find that it helps me keep my stress levels in moderation, so that I don't come home at the end of a 13 hour school day and just cry about all the work I have yet to do. I'm too tired for that! Bonus: I've cut my running time down to about a solid 8 minute mile and can run for about an hour before I die/spontaneously combust.
But in all seriousness, I am impressed with my ability to consistently get up before the sun and function at a human level. I am 1/3 through with this semester and so far, have straight As. I'm working hard to keep it that way, so that when I transfer, they will be like, "You're really old! But, you are good at stuff.... we'll let you in!"
Hopefully, anyway.

So I'm off to my exciting Friday night of studying, reading, outlining and working out.
Man, college is crazy.
Hats off to all of you who are doing it too.

This is what the inside of my brain looks like. 

Things that make me smile.

So I thought I'd share.
Because it's been a rough couple of weeks.
And smiles are awesome.

The end. :D